Saturday, June 22, 2013

Love affairs

The oak sideboard has reached its final placement, so I'm loading it up with all the stuff I've had elsewhere waiting while it migrated around the house. I'm going to use it as a server, so in digging the liquor bottles out of the closet I thought I'd see how long that stuff is good for. I'm the world's worst drinker, I keep forgetting to do it. I like a good drink - I don't really care for bad ones - and I have a ridiculous amount of vodka now because I kept forgetting I had it.

Anyway, as it turns out, open bottles of liqueurs don't last forever, perhaps 18 months at best. I had two petite bottles of Grand Marnier and Tia Maria that I had retrieved years ago in cleaning out Mother's things. They were bought no doubt during my parents' marriage and saved for "some day special." Someday never came, and as it turns out, the cork on one had dried out and the alcohol began to evaporate.

Love affairs, like good liquor, are for enjoying now, this year, while you have it. All you kids know that, but no one in my family ever did. It was all for  "we'll do that later, when we have the time, right now I need to ..." paint the house, get rid of this headache, call about taking a class next semester, go see about the farm. Love and happiness could wait until tomorrow. 

Not really, the love dries up and goes away.

I'm thirsty.

Little sips, Sweetie, little sips. Just begin where you are.

Monday, June 17, 2013

The Stars and the Heavens

Some who know me won't believe this, but I've been looking at my horoscope online. They've been having them in magazines and websites about your decorating style, and I was rather hoping to narrow my style down from the massive amount of things I like. Of course, my sign is supposed to be all mercurial, pardon the pun, but they never get it right either. I think it just confuses the astrologers, who are trying very hard to put people into a sign box.

So, anyway, I invariably end up linking on to other aspects of astrology and what I'm supposed to be like according to my sign, and then on to people I know and what their sign is supposed to say about them...and a lot of times they get a lot of stuff right! Shocker, I know. The neat thing about these days is that you can get a free chart according to your birth date and place, and that should tell you even more. It used to be years ago that you couldn't get anywhere near something like that unless you paid a lot of money, so of course I clicked on it.

I was tooling around with it, blah blah blah, maybe so, maybe not, that isn't really much news - and then I started putting in someone else's birthday to see about them. I didn't know what time or exactly where, so I had to guess. Blah blah, yeah I can see that, uh I dunno, well maybe I ought to try a different time of day to see what changes then? Well, well, well, all sorts of things got changed - from the time of day!!! I thought that wasn't very helpful.

Then I started resenting all that "just be aware of this" advice. I recognised it from my real life experience because that's how many people, especially women, like to control or influence others. It's one thing to warn someone specifically of what they are doing, it's another to take someone under your wing and habitually give character statements about what they are like, what their weaknesses are, and make general descriptions to them about how they interact with the world. If they yield to that, then there is a control element that has come into play - and every tragedy on the stage begins with a little whisper of influence misplaced.

But what to do about the stars and all the times the signs seem to read correct? I wasn't looking for a Christian trump card - even Jesus' birth as the Messiah was corroborated by "wise men from the East."  The moon and the stars were put into the sky as signs in the heavens, and there are prophecies in scriptures that speak of signs yet to come. Hmmm, what to do, what not to do? Then the time of day thing pointed out a problem, one that only Christians have, because we are born again people.

We have a second birthday, we've been born anew from above. Our new life comes out of a living union with Jesus - and his destiny. Even if all the astrology stuff has some accurate elements, there is nothing in any of the astrological charts about the date of our new birth, they have no information about the date of either Jesus' first birth in Bethlehem or resurrection from the dead (again, a new life begun even for Him, with new parameters and a different "sign"), and yet those are the most powerful dates controlling our lives. For all the the influence the sun, moon, planets and stars, and dates and times and seasons have on us - Jesus upsets every chart and every prediction, because not only is he himself The Bright and Morning Star, he is the Ruler of his own House, and all things are in every way subject to Him.

So then, no matter what I started out with under the heavens, and no matter how many things I can see the star charts get right, my whole life path got upended when I died in Christ and was born again. Now the life I live is not my own, but is hidden with God in Christ Jesus - he unrolls a new scroll in the heavens with his own plan for me written on it, and no astrologer on this earth can touch it or read it or change it.

But I can read it.

Rom 8:28 And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. 29 For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren; 30 and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified.

And I can do something about it.

Rom 8:25 But if we hope for what is still unseen by us, we wait for it with patience and composure. So too the [Holy] Spirit comes to our aid and bears us up in our weakness; for we do not know what prayer to offer nor how to offer it worthily as we ought, but the Spirit Himself goes to meet our supplication and pleads in our behalf with unspeakable yearnings and groanings too deep for utterance.
27 And He Who searches the hearts of men knows what is in the mind of the [Holy] Spirit [what His intent is], because the Spirit intercedes and pleads [before God] in behalf of the saints according to and in harmony with God’s will.
28 We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose.

Here, have a mystery picture, because you don't really know where I started, and only God knows where I'm going. 

[No, I didn't know I would end up here. It's the ADD and the Holy Spirit, I always seem to careen sideways into the truth. Well, as long as I get there, that's what counts. :) ]

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Not ANY Thing

I've let the ADHD issue slip to the back burner for over a year (a very ADD thing to do, of course,) but I've joined an ADHD group online now (can't remember how, again...) and so now I'm having all the ADD issues thrown up at me repeatedly on a daily basis. I had read a few things before, learned a bit, watch some very educational videos, but I hadn't really meditated on it daily and seen how the disorder was working itself out in my life. Until now.

Long story short: Not ANY thing I ever wanted to do, participate in, interests to pursue, anything you can think of - not any of it was ever possible, because I can't keep my intentions together and follow thru, and because I offend people all the time with my personality and what I say.

That's harsh and maybe I shouldn't put it out here, but it's really true, and I don't have any resources to do anything about it.

All my dreams and hopes are dying. All of them.


Here's a pretty picture to look at instead.

Have a nice day.