Thursday, July 17, 2014

It registers

Lowell George - Heartache

Just heard this for the first time this morning, the last song on his last album. "Heartache, find another place to be. I'm tired of being your best friend. Look to another for your companion, and when you do, my pain will end." 

I'm not sad today, I'm finding my way out of decades of confusion, but I still understand the confusion, and the decades. It just never ends when you want it to. I'm not ready to turn around and try to reach back into Heartache and call for the next person to come out, maybe I'll never be the right person to do that, but I think, and I even hope, that I will always remember Heartache. My prayer might even be that I will always carry a bruised place in my own heart, one that hums along in mercy and tears when I hear that pain moaning in someone else's voice.

Years ago I got my finger stuck in a belt loader. The other people with me didn't understand what was happening, but I got it stopped and out in time before it ate up my hand. It had worn the skin off and having to fight it both horrified me and scared me half to death. That loader was moved and we had a different one when I went out to that job again. Months later, the loaders were switched again. Although no one mentioned the change, my hand recognized the feel of it the instant I took hold of it, the frequency of the engine vibration was unique. The pain shot thru my hand again and the terror shot thru my heart. I came off that loader before my brain could register I was even in motion.

I guess this little post is just an encouragement to carry mercy and pity with you always, for once you were That Guy, and only by the grace of God you are no more. Which guy? The one who vibrates at the frequency that makes you shriek in pain and horror. He's still being churned up by instruments that would destroy the whole world if left to run unhindered, and you recognize the frequency. Remember to share your light and fire with him, not on him, and maybe leave a bit of room for him to get away from what is eating him up for a little while. It might be the space and time he needs to get free. The moment between freedom and complete destruction is just so very quick.

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